The brave seek death

The edge⁠‍‌‌‌⁠‌‍‌​‌‍‌‍‌‍⁠⁠⁠‌​⁠⁠⁠ of the reactor shrank back rapidly. Kaos shrieked, “Don’t come closer! You’re smart. You know what will happen if you get near, don’t you? But I’m warning you, once these chaos reactions are dissolved by you, all temporary life within the reactor will dissipate completely. If the reaction is allowed to develop, we can leave District 99 and spread to the whole world, and the powerful lives within it will be preserved.”

“Is that so?” An Yu whispered. “But I think the Commander wouldn’t want to live like that.”

“He failed to seize control of the Chaotic Reaction. I don’t know why; I thought he was the source of all our chaos.” Kaos laughed. “But regardless, Qin Zhilu lost his bet. His death won’t terminate the reaction, and if he survives, he will only exist as the Disaster.”

“He didn’t lose,” An Yu said. He paused and repeated, “Not yet.”

Vines silently creeped up from behind him, climbing his legs and wrapping around his waist. He looked down at them; thorns grew from the poppy stalks, piercing his flesh as countless poppy seeds surged beneath his skin.

The terminal showed that Jiang Xiao’s mental stability and survival values hadn’t changed for a long time.

“Finally, it’s your home field,” An Yu said softly.

Jiang Xiao choked out, “I’m taking you away from here.”

“No. I only gave you the power to protect my life; I haven’t given you permission to dictate my actions.”

An Yu looked up abruptly, his golden eyes piercingly bright as if staring at the red eyes in the sky.

But he wasn’t looking at Kaos; he was looking through those eyes at the swirling chaos of heaven and earth.

After Qin Zhilu had stepped inside, though there was no trace of the man, he felt the entire mass of reactants had gained a certain sense of life.

“You’ve always wanted to be my support, stacking one mutation after another for that purpose until you became this half-baked hybrid.” An Yu gently adjusted his earpiece. “So, I trust you. No matter how close I get to death, hold onto me. Don’t let go.”

Jiang Xiao was stunned. “An Yu…”

“Remember, if time can flow backward, stop Sienna from infecting Kaos. The one who should enter the core of the reaction isn’t her, and it isn’t the Commander. It’s me.”

The light in An Yu’s eyes was so intense it momentarily dimmed the surrounding frost. His gaze suddenly fell on his clothes, where a jet-black feather was fluttering down from his hem. It was left by that crow.

Perhaps it wasn’t a feather, but a thread of Cognition. That thread had allowed him to have that dream.

In an instant, An Yu seemed to guess the crow’s identity, though it was beyond belief. He had no time left for thought. Standing before the vortex, he tilted his head back. The towering reaction made his body look infinitesimally small; his tattered white overshirt seemed ready to shatter in the frost. The only piercing things were his increasingly brilliant golden eyes and his pitch-black gloves.

A flash of confusion crossed Kaos’ eyes. He whispered, “What’s happening…”

The reaction vortex was slowly circling, but the earth was no longer merging into it. It seemed to be rotating only within itself, carrying all the life and non-life churned inside it, spiraling upward. Even Kaos’ eyes spun around with the motion.

“How…” Before he could finish, his gaze sharpened. He looked at An Yu in shock. “What are you doing!”

The sound of a round being chambered interrupted the howling wind.

A familiar, cold, hard barrel was pressed against his forehead. Leather gloves brushed against the trigger, but the hand inside the glove no longer belonged to that tall, frigid man.

The world fell into a deathly silence, leaving only An Yu’s own breathing, accompanied by the heartbeat in his chest. One by one, deep and heavy. His whole body trembled; every rise and fall of his chest felt like it would crush his ribs. Those golden eyes stared fixedly at the towering reactor before him. After a long time, his chest finally steadied.

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District 99 had only revealed a single spark of light to him, leaving no chance to fumble or learn. However, those who bet on the last chance of survival won’t lose. I hope Ling Qiu isn’t wrong this time, either.

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An Yu brought the terminal to his lips and gently kissed the curled tentacles beneath it.

Don't scrape

Don't copy

Then, his right hand pressed the barrel harder against his forehead. The cold, hard muzzle bit into his skin with a searing pain. Between breaths, he hallucinated that he could already feel the touch of the bullet.

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“The brave seek death.”

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The crazed look in Kaos’ eyes solidified in an instant. Jiang Xiao’s cries and the stinging pain of the thorns binding An Yu’s limbs faded away.

Don't scrape

Don't copy

Death was not his end, but merely a choice in his path.

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—He took a breath to the very end, before snapping upright.

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The safe house still held the lingering scent of noodles. Qin Zhilu was sitting half an arm’s length away, his back against the wall, asleep.

Don't scrape

An Yu had never seen such intense emotions in his Commander’s eyes. Before he could speak, Qin Zhilu glared at him, stood up, and strode over. He grabbed the sidearm at An Yu’s waist and yanked it back into his own holster.

“Commander…”

A large hand cupped the back of An Yu’s head. Fingers ran through his hair, violently pulling his entire body up from the ground. His back slammed hard against the wall with a searing pain.

“Comm—”

“Shut up,” Qin Zhilu’s voice trembled.

Those dark eyes were deathly still yet frenzied. He stared at An Yu, his chest rising and falling heavily.

After a few breaths, Qin Zhilu suddenly crashed his lips against his.

Author’s Note:

Snowflake fragments
[Qin Zhilu (3/4)]
[Must Not Fall in Love]

After Zhishi died, I knew deep down I could never again form a bond with anyone.

Because my ill omen will lead everyone toward death.

Unworthy of affection, must not fall in love.

But, An Yu is the exception.

Before I could drag him into the abyss, he had already kissed death for me.

When the gun fired, only then did I realize that he and I were already tightly bound.

This is destiny.

Life cannot be avoided, and death cannot sever it.

[36: The God Who Was Taught]

Bread, mercy, courage, and love.

These are values recognized only by those as small and timid as humans.

In the eyes of a god, they should be nothingness and folly.

Yet, He came to understand them.

One knows not from whom He learned.

-Loose Pages from an Useless Book

M1zushi: Such a good chapter omg