“If he is destined to fall into the abyss, then let him go freely.”
by M1zushiAfter finishing his instructions, Qin Zhilu paused for a moment. His voice suddenly sounded somewhat distant. “When I chose you, you were just a little beast without feelings, only bloodthirst, not much humanity. As long as it was for survival, you could crawl forward trampling over everything. At that time, I only thought you would grow into what I needed, but I didn’t expect…”
An Yu looked up and gazed at him. “What did you need?”
“Bloodthirst, scheming, cruelty. These are things you inherently possess. But you are too passive. You can’t let fate push you forward step by step anymore. You must learn to turn around, face it directly, and tell it where you want to go.”
Qin Zhilu’s Adam’s apple bobbed twice as he whispered, “I chose you, planning from the very beginning for the day I would use you. You are a killing weapon I selected.”
“To kill who?”
Qin Zhilu remained silent. He gazed at An Yu for a long time, and finally just gently pushed him out of his arms.
“Do as planned. Come here less in the future. I’m probably about to lose control. You need to maintain the Commander’s dignity.”
When he walked out of the small room, An Yu didn’t leave immediately.
He stood silently at the bedroom door for a long time, long enough for Qin Zhilu to return hesitantly to the bed and pick up that book again.
Through a small crack left by the door, An Yu saw his hand holding the book trembling. He gripped the book hard, enough to make veins bulge on his wrist, yet he still couldn’t stop shaking.
Qin Zhilu was still enduring, holding back from exposing the manic physical symptoms of imminent loss of control, because he knew An Yu hadn’t gone far.
An Yu also knew he couldn’t hide it from him—Qin Zhilu had begun to awaken. He must be able to keenly sense the existence of the “Order Body” just like all aberrants. As Xi De once described, An Yu had a dangerous and alluring presence to them.
Separated by a door, they knew each other’s hearts clearly.
“You’re right.” An Yu pressed his palm against the door, whispering, “I can’t be passive anymore, can’t be pushed forward step by step by fate.”
“Nor can I be pushed forward step by step by you, because that’s not what I want.”
That night, An Yu’s terminal woke him up over a dozen times.
Black Tower kept pushing emergency warnings. Qin Zhilu’s mental power struggled back and forth between 30 and 31. He was no longer allowed to stay in the bedroom but was strapped to an experiment table. His limbs, immobilized by dozens of steel nails, were bound with thermal bomb cases. Electrode pads covering his whole body constantly released wave frequencies to suppress aberration.
In the surveillance footage, those dark eyes could hardly gather any will anymore. Later, Qin Zhilu simply closed his eyes, only opening them occasionally during convulsive struggles. Tentacles, scales, wings. Abnormal physical features burst out of that human body from time to time, then were suppressed back amidst the sound of instruments charging and discharging and his sorrowful roars.
“An Yu.” Tang Feng stood beside An Yu, reaching out to cover his terminal. “Don’t look anymore.”
An Yu calmly turned off the screen, got up from the carpet, and looked at the uniform draped over Tang Feng’s pajamas.
“Did the High Peak call you to discuss Spire matters?”
An Yu’s tone was very calm.
Tang Feng nodded. “Qin Zhilu is sliding towards loss of control faster than their worst expectations. The High Peak was very blunt; the future controllability of all Protectors, including me, has a question mark over it.”
“I’ll go negotiate.” An Yu stood up. “I’ve already asked Yan Xi to pick me up. We’re going to Black Tower immediately.”
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Tang Feng was stunned. “Did Law not…”
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He lit up the screen once again, looking at several files on the desktop.
Don't scrape
Don't copy
You must turn around, face it directly, and tell it exactly where you want to go.
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Qin Zhilu, soaked in sweat and blood, suddenly heard a system notification sound. Different from those ear-piercing alarms, it was a crisp “ding,” like the timer on the oven in An Yu’s shop signaling the end of work.
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And confusion.
Don't scrape
Don't copy
This time, 716 still didn’t have any pleasantries, directly popping up a line of text: Conveying for An Yu.
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-Until the moment we both burn out.
Qin Zhilu read very slowly, identifying word by word, until the breathing mask was filled with mist and blood vapor, blurring everything in his vision.
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“Law?”
He called out hesitantly, receiving no response.
But he still abided by the agreement between Qin Zhilu and Black Tower. Before completely losing his mind, Qin Zhilu had the right to know all official business and disposal plans regarding himself. He reported softly, “Corner just confessed the complete story to Black Tower and proved the type of his ability. Spacetime manipulation power represents the potential to promote entropy reduction. He will become the turning point for all humanity.”
“After High Peak analysis, the credibility of his statement has been recognized, and a consensus reached with him.”
“He will become the new administrator of the Spire as a pure human who will never aberrate, leading all Protectors to continue operations. Black Tower will also abandon the previous disposal plan for Protectors, because once Protectors lose control collectively, the Order Body also has the ability to clear out all aberrants—including you.”
The observation room was empty and deathly silent, save for the weak breathing of the person on the experiment table.
After a long time, that hoarse voice asked, “What else?”
“They are still doing the final agreement confirmation. If there is supplementary intelligence, I will inform you in time. Please rest assured, your former supervision subject has grown very fast. This is truly gratifying. Perhaps this really is a shred of hope left to humanity by the world.” The researcher paused as he spoke, suddenly remembering something else, and comforted with a smile, “Oh, but some small flaws haven’t changed. The superiors suggested he change his codename to ‘Order’ to better soothe the public, but he refused. He is still called ‘Corner.’ He said this name gives him a sense of security.”
The machine emitted a beep, and the energy discharge stopped.
The manic pain in Qin Zhilu’s body finally quieted down.
“In addition, he also hopes we stop interfering with you from now on, because he thinks this is both painful and meaningless.” That person said softly, “You’ve worked hard.”
Kilometers away, An Yu stood before the officers. His gaze swept over those unfamiliar faces, finally landing on the big screen.
Through the screen, he said to the High Peak who had never revealed his face, “Humanity must let Qin Zhilu go. This is the only condition I won’t compromise on.”
“If he is destined to fall into the abyss, then let him go freely.”
Author’s Note:
38 – Releaseto set free a captive animal (in some cases, as an act of Buddhist mercy)
There were some questions I didn’t have time to ask An Yu personally.
But fortunately, later when our consciousnesses connected, I still got the answer.
An Yu never thought aberrant loss of control was the worst ending for Qin Zhilu.
Because he didn’t care about human fate at all.
He felt the worst ending was for Qin Zhilu to be controlled by others until death.
He also said, regardless of whether what he released was calamity or protection.
He just wanted to return freedom to him.
-Loose Pages from an Useless Book
Mizushi: i’ve translated up to chapter 107 but chapter 108 is the equivalent of 6 chapters (13k) and i really hate doing things without ending them so i cant do small translating sessions. therefore i’ll wait until i have time to translate it in one sitting. btw every chapter from now on is sad so get your tissues ready
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