Persimmon Gang
by M1zushi“He’s nothing more than a plaything to amuse me.”
Bai Ling was taken aback for a moment but before he could react Sava rolled up his furry pants and exploded in anger:
“How can he say that about you?!”
Sava’s temper was too straightforward. To avoid conflict, Bai Ling had already warned him beforehand, saying that this trip was to the garden of an “acquaintance.” It was just that it was too late at night, so they had to carry out a stealth mission: move fast, precise, and ruthless; grab the cherry tomatoes and run.
Sava had agreed readily at the time, patting his fluffy chest and boasting that he was king of nighttime infiltration.
Who would’ve thought that less than two minutes after landing, he’d already be ready to charge out and blow their cover.
Bai Ling smacked him with a wing and lowered his voice.
“You’re infiltrating, Lieutenant!”
Sava replied sternly, “My infiltration method is eliminating all enemies.”
Well, everyone who saw him ended up “GG”-ing, so technically that did count as successful infiltration.
Expressionless, Bai Ling said, “This isn’t enemy territory. This is my second cafeteria. We’re only here to gather supplies. Besides, he isn’t talking about me at all.”
Sava: “? If not you, then who?”
Just as the words fell, a voice came from the study. In a slightly hoarse tone, it asked:
“So Kaide’s opinion is unnecessary on my side. Is that understood, Secretary?”
Sava: …So the one being insulted is actually the Tyrant Kaide.
He turned his big catlike face and looked the bird up and down.
“How did you guess that?”
The falcon stretched his wings lazily.
“Obviously because…” my relationship with him is unusual.
Whatever else might be said about that merman, at least his attitude reassured him. Bai Ling had absolute confidence that the other party would never belittle him under any circumstances or for any reason.
On one hand, Yu Chen respected him enough. On the other, the older man’s mental composure was rock solid. He didn’t need to lie to cover up his insecurities like young people did.
But the reasons behind that were hard to explain to Sava.
While Bai Ling was still organizing his thoughts, the conversation in the study continued. Before long, the sharp edge of the topic quietly shifted direction.
Heinz modestly replied:
“This subordinate is dull-witted. Your meaning is that you still do not intend to reconcile with His Majesty Kaide in the future, even though he is your junior and your blood relative?”
The One replied leisurely:
“People’s hearts change. How could anything remain eternal? Take you and your former master, for example. You still get along quite well now, don’t you, Secretary?”
The word “Secretary” struck heavily against Heinz’s heart, making his mind buzz.
Countless thoughts flashed through him instantly. He feared how much the other man knew, while uncontrollably recalling the image of Sava being shot to death in a hail of bullets.
Maybe he was just overly nervous, but recently, whenever he saw the young master, his stomach cramped. For no reason, he always felt the other might encounter danger.
Even though it was only an extremely vague premonition, he still sent Lin He to keep watch over the concubines’ area the entire time, terrified that anything might happen to the young master.
To the world, he and Sava were master and servant, mortal enemies. He publicly humiliated Sava and even stole his title. The two supposedly wished to kill each other as quickly as possible.
Yet unexpectedly, Izu Paraiso had seen through them at a glance.
Heinz forcibly steadied himself and answered with his usual polished rhetoric:
“You may not know this, but this subordinate indeed once had a relationship with that eagle-owl. As a beta, being treated as family birth-control equipment was simply unavoidable.”
Crouched under the window, Sava clicked his beak furiously.
“…Heinz!”
With one leap, he was about to rush in and unleash a flying kick. Bai Ling reacted quickly and instinctively stretched out a leg to stop him, only to forget that he currently had nothing but claws. With a “plop,” he fell into the bushes.
Rustle rustle. Fluffy feathers hit the ground.
Inside the study, Yu Chen quietly turned his head. First he froze briefly, then a gentle smile appeared at the corner of his lips.
The little sparrow had come back to check on the nest at night.
To adapt to high-speed flight, the falcon’s wings were long and narrow, two sizes smaller than the eagle-owl’s massive wings. Right now, they barely managed to pin Sava down as Bai Ling warned:
“Get a grip. That’s a voice call.”
If there’s a grievance, settle it with the person responsible. Go after your lover directly, don’t hurt innocent people.
Sava stomped away angrily in a crablike sideways walk toward the cherry tomato patch, trying to convert his rage into appetite.
Meanwhile, the innocent merman was ending the conversation. After Heinz logged off, his pale, bluish fingers lightly rubbed circles against his temple to ease some fatigue.
A little robot came over, draped a coat over him, and handed him hot tea.
“According to my calculations, Heinz has a 20% chance of betraying you. Why not simply eliminate him now?”
“The smarter a person is, the more they pursue perfect logic without leaving even the slightest flaw. I’m giving him time to think. Right now he’s probably frantically searching for where he slipped up. A snake startled by rustling grass becomes much easier to use afterward.”
The little robot clicked its tongue in amazement.
Heinz thought he had grasped its Master’s weakness, but in reality, he was merely one of countless backup chess pieces.
The only question was what Heinz would use next to test him after being restrained like this.
Yu Chen lifted the small porcelain cup. Warm steam curled upward, shrouding his golden eyelashes in a hazy mist that subtly softened the solemnity of his temperament.
The automatic ventilation system activated. A roaming breeze swept upward through the greenhouse from below, carrying a fresh grassy scent into the half-open window.
Mixed within the sound of the wind were faint bird calls.
Bai Ling was urging Sava:
“Don’t get too greedy. Just grab a few in your beak. Where are you even going to stuff all that?”
“Here.” Sava plucked off a cherry tomato cluster with his fluffy claws and stuffed it into the thick fur on his chest. It vanished instantly, like a clay ox sinking into the sea.
Bai Ling stared in shock. This stupid chicken’s fluff was absurdly thick; at least five centimeters deep.
Sava said proudly:
“Back when I was in military academy, the whole class relied on me to smuggle snacks.”
Bai Ling: “…You say that like it’s something worth bragging about.”
Sava patted his huge wings and puffed out his chest.
“See? My pecs are holding them in place. Stable as hell.”
Before he could finish showing off, an automatic door slid open softly in the distance. Tender grass bent under approaching footsteps moving rhythmically toward them.
Someone is coming!
Instant chaos erupted beside the cherry tomato vines. The chicken and falcon scattered in panic amid frantic “cluck cluck” noises mixed with warning “kek-kek” cries. Giant furry claws flattened the water hose, broad wings knocked over flowerpots, and drifting fluff floated down onto the damp soil.
Someone stopped in front of the flowerpots, bent down slightly, searched for a moment, and picked up a fresh feather stained with dirt.
The AI scanned it.
“White base with black spots. It’s peregrine falcon belly fluff. Master, Master, Little Bird finally came to visit your greenhouse.”
The camera swept over deep claw prints nearby, and the little robot exclaimed in delight:
“Oh, the Little Bird even brought friends.”
Leaning on his cane, Yu Chen rubbed the feather between his fingertips, feeling its silky softness, and chuckled quietly.
“It seems the Persimmon Gang just raided my garden.”
The Persimmon Gang?
After he slowly left, the two birds finally crawled out of a tree hollow, with leaves stuck all over their heads, and exchanged a glance.
From then on, “persimmon” strangely became their operation codename. The two birds also became increasingly skilled at sneaking vegetables away in plastic bags.
The vegetables they brought back, such as purple cabbage, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, could all be eaten raw and were rich in vitamins and minerals, greatly supplementing nutrition like timely rain for omega bodies still in development.
There were too many vegetables to finish, so Bai Ling distributed some to people he knew in other dorms.
As for where the vegetables came from, he uniformly brushed it off with “my guardian sent them in,” perfectly covering things up and making everyone jealous.
“Your guardian is way too thoughtful.”
“Electronic Buddha bless me. I hope in my next life I’ll also have a guardian who delivers vegetables every day.”
“It’s been so long since I ate fresh leafy greens, wuwu. I even saw the news yesterday saying the vegetable import agreement was unilaterally torn up by the Federation. A single tomato outside now costs 100 star coins and is often out of stock. These vegetables are so fresh, they must be even more expensive, right?”
The one speaking was Nightingale. He felt too guilty to accept them for free and insisted on paying, otherwise he refused to take any.
Unable to argue him down, Bai Ling symbolically accepted 30 star coins.
Cheap and fresh vegetables, what little bird wouldn’t love them?
More and more little omegas came to buy vegetables. Sometimes people would peek around the dorm entrance, suspicious drool hanging from the corners of their mouths, and politely ask:
“Excuse me, do you sell veggies here?”
It really wasn’t their fault. The tyrant was just too stingy, and the harem food too terrible.
Soon, the trend spread to the seafolk class. During lessons, everyone looked distracted. Their ears listened to The Omega Virtue Manifesto, but their minds were occupied with thoughts of going back to slice off unwanted tentacles, coat them in garlic chili sauce, wrap them in lettuce, and crunch away happily.
Of course, they were principled seafolk. They would absolutely never eat themselves, lest they leave psychological trauma behind.
Usually they exchanged food with neighboring dorms instead.
Bai Ling also received such invitations. For example, an oyster shyly cut off part of his frill and ran over.
“Want to try some? Everyone says it tastes really sweet.”
Bai Ling politely accepted it. After lights-out that night, he stole a rice cooker from the cafeteria kitchen and cooked a giant seafood hotpot together with the other seafood ingredients.
Honestly, that was nothing.
Back in the military, when there wasn’t enough food, everyone would also snack on each other.
Close friends who went to visit each other late at night for games would even bring dipping sauces along.
As more and more omegas participated, Bai Ling simply created a group chat and distributed portions daily in controlled amounts. Sava pondered over what to name the group and said solemnly:
“It should be something that strikes terror into the enemy’s hearts the moment they hear it.”
Bai Ling casually replied:
“Persimmon Gang?”
Sava slapped his thigh.
“That’s perfect! Simple, down-to-earth, keeping up with current events, concise and comprehensive. Anyone hearing it immediately understands our revolutionary goal is to overthrow tyranny and seize persimmon freedom.”
Bai Ling thought about it and strangely felt there was some logic in the nonsense, so he agreed and even wrote in the group description:
[Grow bigger and stronger, create new glory]
The first to join was Nightingale. To unify the style, he quickly changed his ID to:
[Follow Birdie and There’ll Be Veggies]
Then came names like:
[Self-Sufficiency Squad]
[Hungry Hungry, Veggies Veggies, Food Food]
and all kinds of bizarre variations.
Watching the rapidly refreshing notifications of new members joining, Bai Ling unconsciously curled his lips upward, vaguely sensing:
A new base of operations had been established within enemy headquarters itself.
[Group Name: Persimmon Gang-Daily Cherry Tomato Distribution]
[Follow Birdie and There’ll Be Veggies]:
Comrades, the end of the month coming up. How are your quiz scores?
[B Person Dead]:
Huh? When was there an exam?
[Sea Bunny Rolls Cabbage]:
…While you were sleeping your head off, young master. But after calculating, under my strict supervision our dorm should at least make top ten.
[B Person Dead]:
What’s the point of ranking high again?
[Sea Bunny Rolls Cabbage]:
(sigh emoji) It’s written in the handbook. First place gets to dance the opening dance with TGK.
[Follow Birdie and There’ll Be Veggies]:
That’s right. Next comes promotion, salary raise, becoming the favored concubine!
[Sea Bunny Rolls Cabbage]:
(stroking chin emoji) I remember Birdie seems to be aiming for first place. @Scales-Plucker
[Follow Birdie and There’ll Be Veggies]:
What? Birdie wants first place? Then I’ll skip the next exam.
[Steampunk Oyster]:
What? Birdie wants first place? Then I’ll sleep through the next exam.
The screen instantly flooded with synchronized messages.
By the day of the Omega Moral and Ideological Cultivation exam, the teacher stared dumbfounded at the completely empty classroom before exploding in fury:
“Deduct points! Massive point deductions for all of you!!”
Meanwhile, the omegas lounged comfortably in their dorms, lazily picking at their ears and collectively embracing the art of doing absolutely nothing. To them, life in the Persimmon Gang was far happier than working for the tyrant.
Even though nobody knew why such a beautiful and upright Birdie wanted to become a favored consort, if he wanted it, then they’d all work together to escort him there!
Bai Ling nudged the deeply sleeping Sava and whispered:
“Wake up and write your name. Time to hand in the paper.”
Sava lazily lifted a hand, too unwilling to move to even sit up.
“You write it for me.”
“Then I’m writing ‘Dark-Night Little Hen.’”
“You wouldn’t dare!?”
With everyone tacitly helping him along, Bai Ling, despite frequently skipping class, won first place for the term by the razor-thin margin of 0.1 points.
North was even more excited than he was.
“Oh my god, will Birdie become Empress in the future?!”
Bai Ling denied it immediately.
“No.”
“You’re that certain?”
Holding a screwdriver while dismantling a broken radio, Bai Ling turned his cool gray eyes slightly and pressed his lips together.
“I won’t become someone else’s subordinate.”
North pondered the statement carefully and somehow felt it sounded suspiciously like a death flag. Glancing again at the calm and steady Birdie, he saw the other completely focused on repairing a vintage radio popular last century.
North’s eyes shifted subtly, revealing a meaningful smile.
Bai Ling considered himself someone who prepared meticulously.
Before carrying out an enemy-elimination mission, one had to survey the environment, maintain weapons, design attack angles, and polish every stage of preparation to perfection.
But this time, he encountered an obstacle in the most unexpected place.
—He literally… couldn’t dance.
As a combat-type female bird of prey, both dancing and courtship were things utterly distant from him. Even if he wanted to cram some emergency moves to muddle through, he still needed some basic foundation first.
Bai Ling’s dancing skills couldn’t exactly be described as “masterful.”
More accurately, they were completely unrelated to dancing altogether.
Sava gave a remarkably fair evaluation:
“Hahahahaha, you’re as stiff as some tiny rusted warehouse robot that’s been abandoned for eight hundred years.”
Bai Ling shut off the tutorial video, crossed his arms, and sat down in defeat.
“Then what am I supposed to do?”
North suggested:
“How about finding a teacher?”
Author’s Note:
Little Bird & Little Hen:
“We’re professionals at mobilizing the masses inside enemy territory!”
Octopus Tyrant, raging incompetently:
(waving tentacles wildly)
“WHO exactly recruited these people?! Are you all trying to make sure I die early?!”
Translator’s note:
look how cute! size diff between male and female peregrine falcons ~~
https://x.com/TauntonPeregri/status/2052655450500309049?s=20
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