Dancing rabbit head

The blood-red text‌​‌​‌‌​⁠‌⁠‌‌‍⁠​‌‍‍‍‌​‍‌​ slowly faded from mid-air. Jiang Qi looked at Gu Ming’en, whose face had turned paper-white, and asked, “Is your hand alright?”

“It’s fine. I probably just didn’t rest well last night.” Gu Ming’en tightly gripped the inner pocket of his clothes. “See, it’s not shaking anymore.”

Jiang Qi glanced at his hand and pretended not to have guessed his skill, refraining from pressing further. Compared to Gu Ming’en, the other two reacted with extreme excitement.

Yu Siwei asked, “Did you really come from the Confinement Zone? Don’t people say that once you enter the Confinement Zone, you can never return? It’s basically no different from being dead.”

“Hmm…” Jiang Qi pondered about the players who failed the game and entered the Confinement Zone. “In the early stage, it’s pretty much like being dead. Once you pull through, you get used to it. As for those who couldn’t pull through… I never saw them again.”

“If you came from the Confinement Zone, then you can’t be a complete newcomer. Do you have to start all over again as a newcomer when you return from the Confinement Zone?” Yu Siwei asked.

“Well, that’s my little secret. I hope you won’t tell anyone else for now. You can manage this small request, right?” Jiang Qi blinked at them, his demeanor becoming much more intimate.

When mentioning not telling anyone else, Gu Ming’en met his gaze once again. This time, Jiang Qi was the one who looked over intentionally.

He smiled very gently, his curved eyes looking pure and harmless. But Gu Ming’en knew that behind that innocent facade lurked an existence that even the Feather of Vanity feared.

The clock struck ten. Jiang Qi lifted the dog food and said, “It’s ten o’clock. I’m going to feed the dog. You guys should hurry up and complete your task too.”

Yu Siwei asked, “You’re not going?”

“Yeah. I’m physically frail and can’t do heavy lifting, so it’s better for me to feed the dog and calm down first.”

Gu Siyu suggested, “How about I help you when the time comes…”

“No need, I have my own ways,” Jiang Qi said. “Little rabbit, do your best to take care of yourself.”

With that, Jiang Qi picked up the twenty-pound bag of dog food and went to feed the dog.

Obtaining the menu was not the end; the difficulty had only just begun. After going through some twists and turns, they obtained a clue that rabbit heads had to be purchased at the slaughterhouse, so the group hurried off.

Upon arriving at the slaughterhouse, they could see through the fence several bulky butchers propping up a sliced-open pig on a rack to skin it.

Gu Siyu swallowed hard and summoned his courage to step forward. “Hello, we would like to buy some rabbit heads.”

“Rabbit heads?” The butcher turned around. A large patch of blood on his chest had not yet coagulated, trickling down his apron. He said impatiently, “If you want rabbit heads, go to the farm and pick them out yourselves. The knives are at the door, grab one yourself. Once you’ve chosen your rabbit heads, bring them over to pay.”

Gu Ming’en asked, “We only bring the rabbit heads?”

“Bring whatever you’re buying. Do you even need to ask? Why are you asking something any normal person knows? Are you here to cause trouble?” The butcher slammed his knife deep into the chopping block, his eyes turning somewhat strange.

“Of course not, we’ll go pick them out ourselves right now.” Yu Siwei pulled Gu Ming’en away, only asking after they were far from those butchers, “Weren’t you quite smart before? Why did you commit such a stupid mistake just now?”

“No, I was just confirming one thing.”

“What thing?”

“In the early stages of an instance, NPCs issue tasks based on the players’ capabilities. According to the NPC’s previous behavior, he should have asked us to bring the bodies over as well to process together. But he only required us to bring the rabbit heads, which means…”

“Which means bringing even just the rabbit heads back is already near the limit of our capabilities.” Yu Siwei understood his point.

Gu Siyu marveled, “Heavens, what kind of rabbits are those? They couldn’t be as big as Mary’s dog, could they?”

As they talked, the group walked toward the rabbit farm following the signposts. The entire farm area was massive, but fortunately, the rabbit farm was relatively close to the slaughterhouse, so they didn’t have to walk too far.

Just as they were about to enter the rabbit farm area, the ground suddenly shook violently. The three of them lost their footing and tumbled to the ground.

“Is it an earthquake?” Gu Siyu asked.

Gu Ming’en knitted his brows. “No, it’s not an earthquake.”

“LOOK, QUICK!” Yu Siwei raised her hand, pointing at the lawn to the left.

There were hundreds of two-meter-tall gray-black fluffballs, bouncing up and down non-stop as they charged in this direction. The ground was trembling because of their movements.

“Those are… rabbits!”

When the fluffballs drew near, they finally saw long ears sticking out above the fluffballs, with round, bright red eyes staring intently at them as they advanced.

If it were just one or two rabbits, they might still be able to handle it. But with so many rabbits gathered together, a single mistake would trigger a counterattack from all of them.

Sure enough, rabbit heads were not so easy to get.

“What should we do…”

“We can only charge in.”

The three gripped their knives tightly, finding a gap in the sea of rabbits to dive through before being overwhelmed.

As dusk approached, Jiang Qi prepared to clean the fifth-floor corridor according to the schedule. However, as soon as he reached the first floor, he heard a loud boom from the kitchen. Smoke then billowed out into the living room, and three or four players immediately fled the kitchen, turning on all ventilation equipment.

Before Jiang Qi could even ask, another roar echoed from inside the kitchen. Ignoring the chaos, he walked straight in.

Right now, the kitchen was enveloped in swirling, light-yellow smoke, through which the layout and a standing silhouette were only vaguely visible. In front of the figure sat two dish-sized, unidentified objects.

Jiang Qi had noticed the figure in the kitchen when he first entered the instance. She had a chin-length bob that was cut far too neatly and wore several tactical harnesses to easily carry weapons. She had barely spoken a word since entering the instance.

Jiang Qi walked over: “Are you planning to poison the NPC with those rabbit heads?”

“……”

Jiang Qi continued, “However, these two charred rabbit heads of yours have lost their basic qualification to be called food. Mary probably won’t eat them, so you’d better start cooking properly.”

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The other person lapsed into silence once more. Seeing no response, Jiang Qi didn’t say much else. He entered the storage room on the right side of the kitchen, grabbed some cleaning supplies, and headed upstairs again. Before reaching the fifth floor, he vaguely heard another explosion.

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Approaching to take a closer look using the dim light source, he discovered that all the paintings depicted animals. The animal in each painting was somewhat different, and the scenes varied as well—some depicted butchers slaughtering wild pheasants, some showed animals tearing each other apart, while most depicted various animal carcasses piled high on dining tables…

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On a white deer head grew half-meter-tall blooming antlers, from which colorful ribbons hung down. Near the neck of the deer head, some red fur was visible, looking as if it had been accidentally stained with paint.

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This painting reminded him of his own deer. He wondered if Xiao Bai was eating his meals on time every day.

He let out a soft sigh, and the ribbons on the antlers moved.

No, this was not a painting. Jiang Qi narrowed the distance between himself and the artwork once more, finally seeing the full picture.

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What kind of person would possess such a sick taste to mock living creatures like this? Jiang Qi felt displeased, and at the same time, the surrounding temperature clearly began to drop. Whisps of red mist crept out from the pure white glass eyes of the deer head.

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Hearing the voice, Jiang Qi snapped back to his senses and swiftly stepped to the side. At that exact moment, a massive sphere flew in a straight line through the space he had just occupied, smashing into the wall.

The picture frame let out a loud clang, the red mist vanished, and the corridor plunged into pitch darkness once more.

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“Here.” She shoved the rabbit head directly into his arms. “Going down.”

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The two walked downstairs together, exchanging information along the way. “Let’s go, I’ll cook the rabbit head for you first. What flavor do you want—braised, spicy, or marinated?”

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“Wei Jing.”

“Named Wei Jing yet you don’t know how to cook? As a seasoning, that’s quite a failure.”

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Gu Ming’en and his two companions returned with the rabbit heads in a disheveled state. As they approached the front door, Gu Siyu was still blaming himself. “If only I had entered a few more instances before to stack my attributes. If I had just tried a little harder, I wouldn’t have dragged you two down and failed to help Jiang-laoshi.”

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“Mm.” Gu Siyu wiped his tears. “I have to walk in with a smile, I can’t let Jiang-ge worry.”

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After the three gave Gu Siyu a psychological boost, they pushed open the door. They had thought they would see a chaotic or tragic scene, but as soon as they walked in, they smelled a rich aroma, while several players at the kitchen entrance were looking inside with complex expressions.

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A massive pot on the stove was releasing a thick, savory aroma of braised spices. Yet even more shocking than that was the adjacent stove—over a roaring flame, a large rabbit head was being spit-roasted, supported by a wire rack beneath it so it wouldn’t collapse. However, that wasn’t the main point.

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“Is that… Dance of the Little Swans?” Gu Siyu voiced his question.

Yu Siwei shook her head. “I don’t get it, but I’m deeply shocked. Has cooking evolved to this level now?”

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Seeing this, Jiang Qi pulled out the wooden stick, wrapped the rabbit head in aluminum foil, and placed it inside the oven. “Roasting it for another half an hour should do it.”

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Seeing that he had finished, Gu Siyu immediately slipped into the kitchen to pay homage. “Jiang-laoshi, you really solved the ingredient issue by yourself, and you even made such a magical dish.”

“This doesn’t count as magical; it’s just restoring the food’s original flavor.”

After Gu Ming’en walked in, he observed the wooden stick that had previously served as the skewer, feeling that it looked somewhat familiar.

“This stick…” Yu Siwei hesitated.

“It’s the one I used to play with Mary back then.” Jiang Qi wiped his hands and cleaned up the counter.

“But I remember this stick was a bit…” Yu Siwei paused. She recalled the “little black figures” dancing on the food earlier and suddenly understood why everyone’s expressions were so beyond description.

Jiang Qi smiled. “Rest assured, it’s all roasted in. High-temperature disinfection, no problem at all.”

“Is it really okay?” Wei Jing asked. If Jiang Qi died, there would be no one left to cook.

“They were holding hands and dancing so harmoniously, what could possibly go wrong?” Jiang Qi walked out of the kitchen. “You guys can use it next.”

Several onlookers who originally wanted Jiang Qi’s help with cooking because of the braised rabbit head abandoned the idea, fearing that he might whimsically create another dancing dish on a whim and send them off to their deaths.

“Let’s hurry up and make ours too.”

“Okay.” Hearing the urge, Gu Siyu immediately rolled up his sleeves to get down to work. But right as he picked up the knife, the clock chimed.

Dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong.

“It’s seven o’clock.” Gu Siyu’s face went completely pale.

Everyone’s expression grew somewhat uneasy. Although there was still an hour and a half before dinner, which was more than enough time to finish the dishes, still…

Just as they were thinking, Mary swirled into the kitchen doorway in her layered lace skirt, opening her mouth wide. “It smells so good! What are we eating tonight? Let me take a look…”

A wooden stick blocked Mary’s path. Looking at the familiar object, everyone turned their eyes toward the outrageously bold player.

Sure enough, it was Jiang Qi again.

Who knew when he had brought out the skewer for a second use. “Before dinner, let me check your homework first.”

“I finished all my homework for today at school!” Mary was extremely dissatisfied.

Jiang Qi’s tone was bland. “Then before dinner, I’ll test your learning progress. Come upstairs, and I’ll make a test paper for you.”

“……”

Mary froze for a second, then roared, “Based on what! You’re just a chef, not my mommy! You can’t dictate all my actions!”

“I helped your mother do everything on the schedule today, so strictly speaking, I also have the right to inspect your homework.”

“Impossible…”

[Congratulations to Player Jiang Qi for discovering and completing the side quest “Mommy’s Schedule,” obtaining the hidden achievement “Mommy’s Good Helper.”]

[Privilege obtained from this achievement: Act as “Proxy Mommy” in Mommy’s absence, exercising all of Mommy’s rights.]

The system broadcast announced the achievement at the opportune moment. Most players had a look of confusion on their faces. What’s a hidden achievement? That exists in instances?

Of course, logically, only players should be able to hear it, but Mary suddenly stiffened, then rigidly raised her head. “N-No way…”

“Nothing is impossible, my dear Mary. Come, open your textbook, and let me prepare a test paper for you.”

“I… I suddenly remembered I still have some homework I haven’t done! I’m going to do my homework! Don’t disturb me before dinner!” Saying that, Mary clutched her schoolbag and fled upstairs at top speed. Jiang Qi wore a disappointed look. “What a pity. I finally found a pet that can do test papers, yet she won’t let me make the questions.”

The players who were worrying about protecting their ingredients and fighting a defensive war suddenly received a truce from the NPC. Looking at the “true newcomer” over there, none dared look down on him anymore.

“Can true newcomers not even enter Mirage these days without this kind of ability?”

“Jiang-laoshi is so strong.”

Only Gu Ming’en had the corner of his mouth twitch when he heard the word “pet.” Looking up, he met Jiang Qi’s eyes once more.

Jiang Qi smiled at him, but before any dialogue could occur, Gu Ming’en swiftly averted his gaze. Meanwhile, as the people around relaxed, they noticed another anomaly.

“By the way… isn’t there still one person who hasn’t returned?”

“When the task time is up, he’ll be forcibly returned. Worry about yourselves first.”

“Oh no, I didn’t even know how to cook before entering the game! What do I do!”

“A devil… he really is that devil.” Amidst the panicked, noisy crowd, Xin Wen hid in the corner of the kitchen, his left hand tightly clutching a cross.

He kept repeating those words in a whisper, the fear and hatred in his eyes gradually intertwining…

Author’s note:

While writing this chapter, two voices kept alternating in my head: one was “How could you eat… the bunny?!” and the other was “I’ll treat you to steamed lamb, steamed bear paw, steamed deer tail, roast duckling, roast spring chicken, roast young goose…”

[A mini-theather that barely qualifies as a mini-theather]

Gu Siyu before meeting Jiang Qi: God You is the GOAT!

Gu Siyu after meeting Jiang Qi: Jiang-laoshi is the GOAT!